OWhata

Visualization of data for no good reason other than to do it…that’s progress in the “knowledge economy”.  Call me a techno-ho - I love this type of geekery.  Check out this video of ALL commercial flights in the world (found it on Wired) - don’t they look like miniature Pac-Man’s gobbling up your sensory input grey matter while you ignore and procrastinate from having meaningful interactions with other humans?

Shannon Wheeler is the genius behind Too Much Coffee Man.  I found this one the other day and just love it.

Okay, I know I promised the Open Love Letter to Liz Lemon next, but I just have to write this post now…

Genpets. Holy Shit.  Honestly, my brain tells me that this is a well-engineered hoax, but my brain has been wrong before.

Genpets are a bio-engineered mammals that come in packages like toys.  They are reported on the site as being alive.  The packaging has electronic devices and chemicals hooked into the Genpet to keep them in a perpetual state of hibernation - they are reported to be breathing.  They bleed, they have bones, they make noises - they are alive in every way you and I are (supposedly.)

In all honesty…IF this is real, I think I’d rather be eaten alive by a white tiger wearing a Bill Cosby sweater than be on a planet where this is happening.  But then again - I’m into freedom of evolution and this seems like a hella way to push those genetic doors open to punctuated equillibrium.  READ THIS WEBSITES FAQS!!!!

I rarely repost someone else’s post, but this one fucking cracked me up.  Read this entire post (I’ve re-posted the first few sentences and provided a link to the rest…)  Those of you who have read my former post on the singing shark know I’m fond of these ancient meat grinders.  This post about the legality of being chomped by a shark is…enlightening…

“I know this is random, but I just want to clear this up for people out there.

There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack.

I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as.

We’re humans. We live on land.

Sharks live in water.

So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack…”  READ MORE…

This kid is on to something.

I guess I’m going through a stay-away-from-me phase. I’ve been unmotivated to socialize much or date. Yet I realized that, just because I feel that way, doesn’t mean the rest of the world does. In fact, its like the universal constant is fluxing in direct proportion to me recoiling - I’m getting more invites than ever before. So, to butt heads with the Universe, I’m concocting methods to nauseate people in innocent (yet purposeful) ways so they won’t want to be near me or approach me.  Feel free to add to the list using the Comment function below (I could always use spare methods.)

1. Listen to Whitney Houston’s The Bodyguard all the time.  Sing along with it.  (Bobby B., what the HELL did you do to this woman?!?  She was sooo fine!)

2. Speak in chicken language every other sentence. (Seriously - check out the link.)

3. Get a vanity license plate that says HERPES.

4. Wear a wedding ring and, when it comes time to show people pics of my wife, I’ll have photos of a goat in my wallet.

5. Use barbecue sauce as anti-perspirant (I know, I know…certain people will enjoy this.)

6. Carry a hammer and introduce it as the reincarnation of Tony Randall.

That’s it for now.  The insanity pills are wearing off - I have a fresh batch coming from a Canadian pharmacy soon.

Dale sent me a few of this guys drawings a while back.  Luckily I still had one on my desktop.  I don’t have a link to a site for him because it was a bitch to Google this guy and come up with the Peter Taylor I was looking for - so find him yourself.

Oh yeah, sorry to have vanished.  Things have been rather odd in James land the past few weeks.  Usually life is either good, bad, or neutral - but never a mixed bag.  Lately, I’ve had the party mix and, although I’m quite happy, I’m looking over my shoulder often.  Here’s a short list of what’s happened lately - hit a guy on his bike with my car, ended my contract after 2 1/2 years at the job, getting more freelance work, finished the first cartoon with my production company and sent it off to Adult Swim, met a great lady (of course she’s moving away soon), clean bill of health at the dentist, great parties with great friends, my back healed so my ankle nearly broke…

So, yeah, I’m sorry and still love you all and love blogging.  I’ll be more regular.

Sorry I’ve vanished a bit folks.  Burying those bodies took a while and then I got strep throat AND a sinus infection.  I’m thinking of having my tonsils replaced with walnuts decorated by 2nd graders - some sparkles, rubber cement, perhaps those googly eyes that school art programs can still budget.  OH SHIT - that would be awesome.  I’m also conisdering having a helicopter landing pad tattoo put on the crown of my scalp since my receded hair pattern basically resembles that anyway.

Laugh at this site, Garfield Minus Garfield - it’s shockingly brilliant.

How much did Ming kick universal Ass?  Check out this Movie Villians blog to find out how he ranks compared to other famous big screen bad asses and sociopaths.  And riddle me this: WHAT MOVIE WAS MAX VON SYDOW NOT IN?!?!  I am seriously going to check my homemovies to see if he shows up anywhere.  Trivia about Max - Adolf is his middle name.

Although I don’t TOTALLY agree with this image’s implications (I’ve turned into a hell of a romantic in my silver years), this is damn funny. I found it on flickr in this image stream: http://flickr.com/photos/unnamed/78537071/in/photostream/